A lifestyle blog all about Birmingham, UK.

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

2014 - The Best Worst Year Of My Life

It sounds very cliche, but if anyone would have told me exactly this time last year what would happen over the following 12 months, I wouldn't have believed a word they were saying!
2014 has been an incredibly rough ride for me. From break up's and heartache to deaths to university problems to family issues to moving house and pretty much having a full blown lifestyle change, this year has certainly been my toughest so far. I would be bitter about it, but I had a few very good years in a row so I suppose it was my time to have a bit of a rubbish one!
Despite the roller coaster ride I feel like I've been on since January, this has also been an amazing year, purely for how the negatives have somehow incredibly helped me in various ways. Looking back at this time last year, I feel like a different person! That girl was naive, didn't have a clue what she wanted from life in general and the main happiness in her life was a boy - a million miles away from where I am now.
With everything happening this year, I felt like it all gave me a chance to step back and almost see things from a different perspective and about half way through the year, I thought to myself that I seriously had to buck up my ideas and GET A GRIP. 'Get a grip' is advice that I'd always said to others, yet never took it myself, and you know what? It helped, a lot.
A sudden rush of motivation and energy hit me around that point and suddenly, I was thinking about my future and making plans and I began to think very carefully about what I wanted from my final year of university and what I needed to do to succeed. By taking a step back, I focused on myself and just learnt more about myself than ever before; the type of person I want to be and who I should surround myself with. By focusing on myself and being quite selfish for a few months, I began to get back on track and soon I was smiling again and throwing my energy into things that matter instead of worries which aren't going to mean anything to me in six months time.
Relationship wise, I've been single since March now, and although it really felt like the end of the world at the time, I'm actually glad that it ended when it did. Being single (this is the longest I've been single since I was 15!) has done me the world of good. I always felt like I needed that special someone in my life, but I really don't! I've become very content by myself now and I actually really enjoy my own company these days and just having a few hours to myself each day means that I'm not going out of my mind and therefore, I'm a lot more chilled than the person I was last year. By not constantly feeling like I need a boyfriend, I've become more relaxed when talking to guys and I think this year I have mastered the art of just not caring what a guys opinion is of me - the most important opinion of yourself that you should let affect you is your own. I also know i'm not going to be 'Forever Alone', but if I'm meant to be with someone, then it will happen in its own time, it can't be forced and I'm OK with that now.
2015 is the most terrifying thought to me right now. The year will see me finish university, graduate, and then somehow attempt to get myself a job in the industry I wish to be in. It will be the first year of my life so far where I really do not know what is going to happen, where I will be and what my situation will be this time next year. For years, it has been just the next year of education, and suddenly its all going to be over. This thought scares the hell out of me and yet, I'm so excited to throw myself into the unknown and see where on earth it takes me. 2015 also means a lot of hard work, a months work experience in January, a dissertation to write and everything else which comes along with the pleasure that is third year. However, I feel that I'm finally in a place that I can do this if I just put my mind to it.
This year, I have seen so much and done so much and I'm so glad I eventually stopped feeling sorry for myself, stopped moping around the house and got out there, meeting new people and experiencing new things.
I'm so glad to be surrounded by a loving, healthy family and just the most amazing friends, and god only knows where I'd be now if they all hadn't have been there for me this year. So I'm ending 2014 with a lovely cold, a bottle of Amaretto ready for my night out and a clear view of what I want from the coming year. I'm a stronger, more independent person now and I wouldn't be like that if the up's and down's of the past year hadn't have happened.
Finally, thank you for all of those who have been reading my blog this year and I hope to blog much more in the new year. I hope each and every one of you has a very happy new year and all the best for 2015 :)


No comments

Post a Comment

Blogger Template Created by pipdig